Growing Up Dad

Pardon the pity party, but I don't know if I'll make it to 2015. I don't know how many will even notice. I'm tired of being the work mule. I am tired of having to put myself aside and wait for everyone else around me. I am tired of being the one to keep the house running only to have no time, energy, or resources to work on my projects. I have a garage piling high in recycling because it's too cold to go out there and sort it. I have boxes of Christmas decorations in the hall waiting to be put away. Only thing is that I need to clean up the garage to get them out there. The kids beds need to be changed, meaning I have mattresses to move. Guess who is in charge of scheduling that? Me. I have a kitchen to clean, constantly. I have dinners to make because I need to start eating better. The problem is, that I will need to make several dinners because I am sure no one will eat what I need to eat. I have laundry to wash or else no one will have clean clothes. I ha

What am I looking forward to in 2014? If the last 2 days were any sign, then nothing. The last 2 days have just sucked. I'm almost ready to throw in the towel.

Sometimes I feel more alone when I am in a room full of people.

I've realized that all of my life people generally think I have no clue of what I am talking about, and then they are floored when something I say or do proves correct. I spend the majority of time having to prove myself. For once I want to hear someone say, "let's do it your way." without hesitation. Instead, I get "I do believe in you, it's just that you are wrong."

I don't think I can do anything right. The majority of the time I feel like a failure trying to fumble his way through just day to day stuff. I don't even know where to start.

Don't know how I feel about it. No fanfare. No kids waking up in excitement. Just everybody wanting to do their own thing, and the only card is from my Mother in law. Just another day. Oh well. Just once I want to feel like the world's greatest dad instead of the world's greatest work mule.