An Open Letter.

My love, I am very angry right now. I am working on dealing with my anger. I ask only that you help me.

Popular posts from this blog

I am trying, and we will make it through

This has been one of the worst weeks of my life. I just need to vent because this is too much, and if I don't let it out it just eats away at me. We had gotten back to a point in our relationship where we were playing again. Using each other to escape. And then... the shoe dropped. I'm shaken, I'm shocked, I'm shattered. I'm hurt. It's hard to recover from something like this. So much of my confidence is tied into my relationship, and when the relationship starts to have problems my first thoughts are "What am I not doing right?" It's hard to rebuild trust when something like this happens. It takes a lot out of you just to put yourself out there again. However, you have to be willing to trust again. You have to remind yourself that "she is still here." No matter how much you are hurting, you have to remember that what happened was in the past even if the past were mere weeks before. I felt like that happy spot that I had just re...
Read more

Not a good day

I didn't sleep much last night. It actually was from heartburn, and not my current slate of problems. However, today I am dealing with sadness and anger and betrayal and everything all at once. I feel so overwhelmed today. I know it is mostly due to a lack of sleep. It seems that when I do sleep I have a pretty good day the following morning. When I have a bad sleeping night, I don't do to well. I can't eat, I can't smile, I can't enjoy my kids. Everything I do is forced. I hope to get a nap at some point today. That may help. At some point, I know we will have to talk about my feelings this today, but for now I just want them to go away.
Read more

From Pain to Grief to Anger to Acceptance to Forgiveness

It's been a hard 6 weeks. I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. I have gone through all 8,000,000,000 stages of depression and grief, and I am now starting to feel normal. I feel like I don't want to talk about it as much, which I think is a good thing. I'll know it'll come up occasionally, and I know we will remember the hurt feelings. However, I think we need to let it go. We need to stop looking at each other as if it is the only thing we can talk about. She says she let it go, which is fine. I'm not sure if she has though. I think she is still trying to work through it herself in her own way. Me, I think I finally let it go. I can accept what happened now. I can accept my anger. I can accept my pain. I can accept that I hurt even though I have forgiven her, and that was the hardest part. How can you forgive somebody so soon, and still be hurt. The answer, I think - I believe, is that forgiveness and hurt are separate emotions that are part of th...
Read more