Growing Up Dad

I am trying to move forward. I really am. It is not easy to deal with things like this, and yet the world is not going to stop to let me have my moment. My heart needs to heal, but I feel like I am so alone in it. When it comes to feelings like this, I feel I have to write them down. I don't care who reads it. I just need to get it out. She said something last night that let me know it was going to be alright. We were discussing my nephew, her sister's son, and how my son wanted to know if he would be at my Mother-in-law's. My wife said, "No. He is going to be with his dad this weekend." My sister-in-law and my nephew's father have been separated for years - before we ever had children. My son asked why, and my wife had to explain what divorce was. How some mommy's and daddy's just can't get along or live with each other. She then said something that floored me. Actually, I had to hold back tears (something I am not really good at). She loo...

I want this to be the last day of hurt. From now on, I look forward to a bright and happy future. I want to... no... I have to be willing to move on. I have to remember that we are stronger when we are together then when we are apart. I have to put my hurt aside not just for her, but for me. Dwelling on pain does not help. She wants to move on. So do I. This will just be a brief hiccup in our relationship, but we can make it stronger. To anybody who reads this, I love you.

This has been one of the worst weeks of my life. I just need to vent because this is too much, and if I don't let it out it just eats away at me. We had gotten back to a point in our relationship where we were playing again. Using each other to escape. And then... the shoe dropped. I'm shaken, I'm shocked, I'm shattered. I'm hurt. It's hard to recover from something like this. So much of my confidence is tied into my relationship, and when the relationship starts to have problems my first thoughts are "What am I not doing right?" It's hard to rebuild trust when something like this happens. It takes a lot out of you just to put yourself out there again. However, you have to be willing to trust again. You have to remind yourself that "she is still here." No matter how much you are hurting, you have to remember that what happened was in the past even if the past were mere weeks before. I felt like that happy spot that I had just re...