Ohana

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Time to move on

I want this to be the last day of hurt. From now on, I look forward to a bright and happy future. I want to... no... I have to be willing to move on. I have to remember that we are stronger when we are together then when we are apart. I have to put my hurt aside not just for her, but for me. Dwelling on pain does not help. She wants to move on. So do I. This will just be a brief hiccup in our relationship, but we can make it stronger. To anybody who reads this, I love you.
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Not a good day

I didn't sleep much last night. It actually was from heartburn, and not my current slate of problems. However, today I am dealing with sadness and anger and betrayal and everything all at once. I feel so overwhelmed today. I know it is mostly due to a lack of sleep. It seems that when I do sleep I have a pretty good day the following morning. When I have a bad sleeping night, I don't do to well. I can't eat, I can't smile, I can't enjoy my kids. Everything I do is forced. I hope to get a nap at some point today. That may help. At some point, I know we will have to talk about my feelings this today, but for now I just want them to go away.
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I am trying, and we will make it through

This has been one of the worst weeks of my life. I just need to vent because this is too much, and if I don't let it out it just eats away at me. We had gotten back to a point in our relationship where we were playing again. Using each other to escape. And then... the shoe dropped. I'm shaken, I'm shocked, I'm shattered. I'm hurt. It's hard to recover from something like this. So much of my confidence is tied into my relationship, and when the relationship starts to have problems my first thoughts are "What am I not doing right?" It's hard to rebuild trust when something like this happens. It takes a lot out of you just to put yourself out there again. However, you have to be willing to trust again. You have to remind yourself that "she is still here." No matter how much you are hurting, you have to remember that what happened was in the past even if the past were mere weeks before. I felt like that happy spot that I had just re...
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