High anxieties
On top of everything we have been going through, my wife and I have decided to stop smoking... again. We have been smoke free for about 6 years, but the last couple of weeks we have begun to cling to old vices. There are a bunch of great reasons not to do it (money, health, smell), but my anxieties are shooting through the roof. I am having a generally hard time coping with anything btcause my nerves are so raw.
The funny thing is that we have always picked the wrong time to quit. First we quit at Christmas, another time was in the middle of finals, this time it's in the middle of marrital problems.
Now, I am generally a pretty anxious person. I only play even kieled. Being the main bread winner keeps me grasping for straws as I try to make sure money is coming in, help clean the house, help take care of the kids, and maybe try to get more freelance business. The only problem is that this is all keeps me pretty much stretched thin.
Add to that trying to find the right combination of medications to help control my anxiety/depression and you can see that the house is really rocking tonight. I feel I am about to jump out of my skin. I think my wife and I are avoiding each other because we don't want to say something that will hurt the other.
The thing that sucks is that I feel like we really connected again. For the first time in a long time we had a couple of drinks, watched Annie Hall, and talked like we used to. I realized in the middle of our talk that I need to talk more, but that's another story. And then everything was better, we were in love again. We fell in love with each other again. We were each other's world again.
And then disaster struck. We got notified of my impending student loan quagmire, and the are dwindling bank account. The happiness we rekindled was put through another strain.
I am hoping that this too shall pass, and we can overcome this obstacle. I am hoping this is only temporary, and we can get back to our life together and as a family.
In the mean time. I am feeling my medication kicking in, which means its time for shut eye.
The funny thing is that we have always picked the wrong time to quit. First we quit at Christmas, another time was in the middle of finals, this time it's in the middle of marrital problems.
Now, I am generally a pretty anxious person. I only play even kieled. Being the main bread winner keeps me grasping for straws as I try to make sure money is coming in, help clean the house, help take care of the kids, and maybe try to get more freelance business. The only problem is that this is all keeps me pretty much stretched thin.
Add to that trying to find the right combination of medications to help control my anxiety/depression and you can see that the house is really rocking tonight. I feel I am about to jump out of my skin. I think my wife and I are avoiding each other because we don't want to say something that will hurt the other.
The thing that sucks is that I feel like we really connected again. For the first time in a long time we had a couple of drinks, watched Annie Hall, and talked like we used to. I realized in the middle of our talk that I need to talk more, but that's another story. And then everything was better, we were in love again. We fell in love with each other again. We were each other's world again.
And then disaster struck. We got notified of my impending student loan quagmire, and the are dwindling bank account. The happiness we rekindled was put through another strain.
I am hoping that this too shall pass, and we can overcome this obstacle. I am hoping this is only temporary, and we can get back to our life together and as a family.
In the mean time. I am feeling my medication kicking in, which means its time for shut eye.