Sadly, there is no going back - but there is a future

I have been dealing with the last several weeks as best as I could. Some may say that I am dealing with it poorly. Others may say that I am dealing with it as well as can be expected.

To be honest, I don't care.

All that I know is that I can't go back to 4 weeks ago before my heart was broken. I can't just merely forget, no matter what I try. I can't just wish it away.

What I can do is move forward, but now I want to be selfish. It's my turn I get what I want in this relationship. I shouldn't have to constantly make concessions, and I certainly shouldn't have to wait for someone to dole out their scraps in order for me to feel like I am loved.

It's time to make it clear that my broken heart is not my fault. I didn't ask for this. Nor did I play any part in this. I was only ever devoted to my family. Yes, I made mistakes, and yes there may have been times when I truly wasn't listening, but now is my time to get over the heartache. This is my time for closure.

I'm not waiting for anyone to come to me. I need someone to be there when I need them. Not when they are ready to be there.

If there is to be a future, this is what I need. I can only give so much before I am running on empty, and I have given all that I can.

From now on, I am not a door mat.

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